Lorst Outland Expedition Log

[Brownpaw]

The Hellfire Incident

Day 1 6:00
After a long journey through the waste lands and putting back together Harold the Ghoul, Dam Ghoul can’t help getting hit by lightning.

I reached the dark portal by 8:00 and after all the popularity that the death trap had, I was rather disappointed to see the entire place empty except from a human a space goat and a orc, silly orcs so obsessed with battle and they don’t even use proper armour?

How is this supposed to be efficient in combat?

He poke an eye out with those shoulders!

Anyhow I reached the entrance to the dark portal Harold didn’t want to enter poor ghoul was scared of the statues but after a quick talk to the rune blade he went in faster than a giest with a rocket pack.

I quickly walked after Harold through the green light and the world faded around me, everywhere I looked strange things the sky two moons of glowing red and blue , Also it must have just been my head but the portal seemed much bigger and grand on this side.

The entrance of the portal was being ambushed by many strange deamons, towering stone creatures and orange humans in armour in the background a giant deamon laughing manically and swing its massive blade at the soldiers defending the entrance.

Now as a tactician of the Argen I mean Ebon Blade I knew how important keeping the portal alive so I risked Harold’s life once again and threw a “shinie object” towards the deamon it bounced off its armour and the strange creature laughed at the failed attack, Harold bounded towards him then quickly retreaded as it came running towards us.

The guards now ignored the incoming smaller deamons and rushed towards the big one which I heard some trolls shouting out PITLORD so that must be its name anyhow they quickly vanquished in and the fighting at the dark portal stopped for that day at least.
I quickly rode out of the clearing before the surviving deamons could regroup and rushed towards the orc town towards the horizon.

[Bonky]

A nice little story, but as an uncompromisingly hard elder I have to point a few things out about stories in general (as I take it this is your second short story)!

1. Triple-check grammar. As a native Britton you propably write faster and more naturally then us foreingers, but that doesn't mean your punctuation, commas and dots are always in right places.

2. In "journal"-type stories I would recommend to use a less "explaining" text. Your character does not write the stories for anyone other but himself in most cases, so he can use his personal phrases and expressions more often than people generally do in discussions with others.

3. More adventures of Harold the faithful ghoul manservant please!

[Brownpaw]

Day 2 02:45
Not really a new day say but this was the time I reached Thrallamar after the scary incident on the way there.
A giant deamon robot powered by fel magic?
Pure evil if you ask me and this is only the entrance of the cursed lands I would be surprised if there wasn’t much worse to come.
Anyhow surprising enough a few of these orcs knew my work from the Argent Dawn campaigns! , though they must hate me as they gave me suicide missions to assault an orc base? I was warned that green orc = good red orc = bad rather quickly but didn’t understand too much what they meant.
So that is how I met my first Fel orc and I cant see why these creatures haven’t took over the green orcs yet, They are much stronger than the weaker green counterparts and more military organised and this was only an outpost I have yet to see the infamous citadel they are hiding in.
But however well organised they are most of them haven’t faced off against a ghoul with a rune blade, I must really chop off Harold’s arm if he keeps this up, but anyhow I have to clean the blade later that’s the problem with orcs to much blood and very easy to boil.
Anyhow I have made camp in a cave underneath the village seems like a good spying spot I sent Harold out to feed, I feel sorry for the poor orc peon.

[Brownpaw]

Day 3 Time unknown
Rudely interrupted by a group of fel orc lead by a warlock (note to self don’t trust orcs). They chopped Harold head off!, but I have to fix him later as I grabbed his head when they tried snaring me, unfortunately I left my rune blade behind in the small cave I noticed Harold’s decapitated body still moving around the cave swinging at the air.
They took me to there citadel a impressive place however my life was at more of a risk than I would like to casually observe the site of ones castle, they took me deep inside until we reached a strange room with a Large hole in the middle as I saw when they marched me closer there was a even larger Pit lord down below chained by warlocks.
An orc commander wearing an unusual brand of armour, pfft orcs even more paranoid than I am! I reached for my rune blade but dam my short term memory it wasn’t there! A few of the orc warlocks laughed but a sharp look by the commander made them shut up rather quickly and the one who didn’t? He got threw down the hole I quickly knew my fate.
Most of the orcs have left there posts to see my “executions” which was when my fellow ghoul rudely interrupted our little meeting im not sure if I was more shocked or amazed at what I saw:



((Only half of Day 3 so far though, need to research wether Bonky has any stolen WOMD and/or ghouls can use that to make a bigger explosions))

[Thygore]

All what Bonky said.

Though english is not my native language, so I'd have to keep complains at a minimum I'd add I've found some sentences way too long. Sure. I'm not saying. You should. Write. Like this. But too long sentences may look like you just want to tell it all in one breath and not allowing us to see any detail, so you just can get to the end of it fast and on to the next action all in one sentence and on to the next chapter in a great rush.

Please do not take it as an offense though.